


Never have I ever

by furidojasutin



Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Confessions, Kissing, M/M, Mention of sex toys, Nudity, Sexual Themes, Vulnerability, mostly some emotional bonding, overcoming insecurity, sexual experiences, theyre nude and in love and bonding mostly honestly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-04
Updated: 2020-08-04
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:35:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25715914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/furidojasutin/pseuds/furidojasutin
Summary: In the middle of a heated moment a sexual insecurity comes to light that needs to be addressed.
Relationships: Laxus Dreyar/Freed Justine
Comments: 3
Kudos: 55





	Never have I ever

**Author's Note:**

> Something I started writing before Fraxus Week and finished up yesterday. It's a oneshot about a sexual insecurity and our two favorite men talk about it. I hope you guys like the notion!

“Laxus?”

Laxus had heard him, heard Freed ask him if he was ready, but the words faded away in the back of his mind like an echo. Dull, not quite reaching complete processing, drowned by the pulsing ball of thoughts that was occupying him right now. He should feel ashamed as he didn’t even fully feel the touches of Freed’s body against his, his calloused palms against his skin. Touches that were sexy, all-consuming, getting him into an intoxicated state. Or so they should.

There was something else dominating his mind and body right now as he laid there on his back, legs bent, feeling so unusually exposed and… nervous. Excited, but also _anxious_. And the latter was coming to the forefront clearly.

“Laxus, are you okay?”

Laxus now realized that all previous movement had ceased to happen and that Freed was looking at him with mild concern, if the soft wrinkles on his forehead were anything to go by. Shit.

“Fuck… yea, yea, I’m okay.” Honestly, he wasn’t sure how convincing he was sounding. If he had to guess… it wasn’t all too convincing, really. His boyfriend contracted his brows and he tried made his best efforts to keep up the eye-contact.

Without success.

A faint red dusted his cheeks and he averted his orange eyes from his boyfriend. He felt how Freed put down his legs and shifted his position a little until he was only sitting in between Laxus’ legs. And he felt worse and worse with any second that went by. For killing the mood. For concerning Freed. For being pathetic and embarrassing. This wasn’t like him at all.

For a moment that felt way too long, there was silence. Freed and him had been dating for quite a while. Many had joked around that they probably had been dating for a long time already but the two of them were the last to realize it. Point is, they had been very close for a long time now but their official relationship was only a few months old.

Everything was great. There was a time when Laxus thought that he would never experience love as a romantic feeling, or as a distinct feeling at all. There was also a time when Laxus thought that he didn’t deserve love and that nobody would ever want to be with someone like him.

Freed had begun to show him different aspects of life from the beginning of their bond. And this effect still hadn’t worn off – if anything, he was learning more every day.

Yea, he was very much in love. From strangers to appreciated partners to best friends to lovers and, who knew, perhaps over to husbands at some point in life. But that was an entirely different topic.

This right now, was much simpler. It should be.

All the jobs and the time at the guild didn’t leave Freed and him much time for long dates or an extended time of privacy. Their relationship just started and there had already been the next long-lasting mission the next day. They traveled, they accomplished the mission and they returned. The job had taken a couple of weeks. Then there had been some quiet, unoccupied days and then there had been the next job. The pattern continued for the most part.

And sexual intimacy?

It was fucking amazing. Sex with Freed made him appreciate the sexual intimacy much more. He had messed around with the one or other woman here and there in the past, not many really, but it never managed to impress him. It never managed to really get him going. It was never really as fun and as pleasing as so many people claimed it is and frankly, he found that he cared less and less about sex.

Until he discovered that it wasn’t the aspect of sex itself that was doing nothing for him… It was to blame on the fact that he had those few experiences with people that he didn’t care for. They were random people that he had only seen for a hook-up. There was no other connection. It wasn’t the aspect of sex, it wasn’t that he was gay (although he had almost thought that at some point), it wasn’t that the two or three women weren’t attractive… It was the missing connection. 

When he had first become intimate with Freed it had been an entirely new experience. Mind-blowing. Many times they would have to improvise and settle for something other than penetrative sex, but that wasn’t any less exciting. There were so many ways of pleasing one another, discovering what the other liked and disliked, finding the spots that drove the other crazy… Absolutely satisfying

But, and that was the reason why Laxus found himself struggling right now when actually he could be having hot sex with his boyfriend right now; Freed was the first guy he’s had any romantic or sexual interactions with. The sexual interactions being the key aspect.

Today was the day and Laxus had told Freed that he’s already had some experience in a specific area.

On rare occasion they had both experimented with some sex toys on the other and they could honestly do some sensual and pleasant stuff with it. And yet still… Saying it bluntly, Laxus just knew that none of the things he had tried would compare to having an actual dick up his ass, in size and feeling. To have _Freed’s_ dick up his ass.

“Clearly, something is making you uncomfortable,” Freed remarked. His tone was deep and he was speaking in a lower tone. It was soothing but he hated that he could hear the worry. Of course this was gonna happen and of course Freed would see right through him.

Well, it wasn’t like he was being very subtle with his reaction. He had fucking spaced out for a moment there.

Laxus felt Freed’s hand on his thigh, stroking it gently. His green hair was a bit messy and his lips slightly swollen, from all the previous kissing and foreplay. They had just been ready to go all out but…

Apparently he hadn’t been as ready as he thought. Fuck. _Fuck_.

A lump formed in his throat. He really felt pathetic right now and he hated it. He felt weak and small. And for a stupid-ass reason, too. If anybody ever heard of this then nobody would ever take him seriously again. It was bad enough that Freed saw him like this.

“We can stop here if you want,” Freed proceeded to suggest, not stopping with the comforting motions of his hand. He wasn’t asking for an explanation, didn’t want to push Laxus for an explicit answer. He knew that Laxus would talk once he felt comfortable but until then he would just accept the things how they were. Laxus appreciated this more than he could say. “If I did something wrong, you can-”

But _that_ was something he didn’t want to hear.

“No!”

Freed blinked at that sudden reaction, his gaze calm. Mysterious, light blue oceans that drew Laxus in.

“No, I… fuck.” Laxus dragged a palm over his face and took a deep breath. He had to say something. And it was better if he explained his fucking reaction now rather than later. “It’s just… Shit, I know I told you that I tried it before, but… I’ve never… You know… bottomed before.”

_There_. His confession. And again there was silence for a moment, awkward silence. Freed was still looking at him and Laxus hated that he wasn’t able to read his face then.

“What?”

Shit, well, it was out anyway. Laxus growled in frustration but didn’t break the eye-contact this time. “I never-”

“I heard what you said, you don’t need to repeat it,” Freed cut in assertively but there wasn’t a big change in his facial expression or the reassuring undertone of his deep voice.

He wasn’t sure what to make of this and he certainly wouldn’t be able to bear more silence now. Sighing in more frustration, Laxus sat up and Freed shifted backwards a bit to give Laxus more room. The sex was off the table for sure, he guessed, but that was his own fault anyway. Nobody would ever be allowed to get scent of this happening.

Mindlessly, he ran his fingers through his messy blond hair.

“Why didn’t you just tell me when I asked you about this?”

The anew sound of Freed’s voice made him look up. He couldn’t find any hint of reproach or anger in his boyfriend’s tone. It was just a honest question that deserved a honest response… even if it meant that he would feel even more awkward and exposed and embarrassed.

This had been bound to happen from the start, hadn’t it? His stupid pride and false confidence in the situation had brought him here. This wasn’t the first time that they would be talking about… deeper stuff and feelings while they were completely naked and it was by far not the weirdest aspect of this.

Freed could be mad at him, could be angry about the fact that Laxus had lied to him. But it didn’t seem like that was the case.

Could it even get more awkward than this? He was about to find out.

“Guess I just didn’t wanna seem inexperienced and shit,” he began, this time managing to hold up the eye-contact. His boyfriend remained quiet, a soundless encouragement to go on, and Laxus took it. “You told me about your past experiences with women and mostly guys after you found out that you’re gay and honestly?” Laxus huffed out a bitter laugh. “I suddenly felt really fucking insecure with some… stuff.” Yea, after confessing this out loud it did feel more unnecessary than it was anyway.

Freed not saying anything right away let some nervousness return and the fact that his boyfriend was merely weighing out his words didn’t occur to him, so the only logical option he had was to try and get over it, conclude this subject as fast as possible and accept that he had been ridiculous. “Look, I know this is fucking stupid and I just didn’t want you to think-”

“It’s not stupid, Laxus.” Freed slowly moved to sit next to Laxus instead and turned his head to look at him. Laxus accepted that his boyfriend had cut him off and was ready to listen to him, even if there was still a mess of thoughts in his mind. “And you didn’t want me to think what? That you’re sexually inexperienced with men? When I asked you about this, I mainly wanted to know how we would have to go about this together. You don’t have to be embarrassed or insecure about anything, especially not with me.”

When Freed said it like that, it sounded even more ridiculous. Of course there was never any… competition. Freed had never wanted to brag about his experiences and he had never intended to expose him. The statement that communication is also important in a sexual relation was true, as boring as it sounded, and surely there were some things to say when doing a certain thing for the first time. And even the next few times.

Sometimes, he thought, he was still caging himself more than he should. When people looked at him they saw a very tall, broad-shouldered, powerful man. Fairy Tail’s top wizard after Gildarts (but that old man was getting even older). When people looked at him, they had certain expectations and Laxus wasn’t sure when he had started to try and fulfill them… and when he had started to stop doing it. Had he ever completely stopped to try? Had he ever tried in the first place? Or had he always just tried to fulfill an expecation he had for himself, pretending that those were other people’s expecations?

What a mess.

In his worst time he had been a cocky, destructive asshole. And he had purposefully done much to uphold this reputation, and some things he had simply been blind towards.

Years had passed since then and he always thought that, perhaps, he had finally managed to find his true self again and also show this true self to the world. He knew for sure that the Raijinshuu had always helped him with that, and that he could be himself with them around, more than with any other people.

Except if he picked out Freed as a special person. Because he definitely was, and had definitely played a huge role in his life ever since they met each other.

So when lying to Freed… Had he just been trying to shield himself again, to live up to a certain expectation? An expectation that was based on completely irrelevant things like his power and his looks?

The more he delved into these thoughts, the more he realized just how dumb this really was. Because all random expectations from random people aside; this was Freed. This was his boyfriend. The man he loved. And he absolutely didn’t need to lie to him, especially not about something comparably small like this.

“Laxus?”

Freed’s hand landed on his knee and he turned his head, gazing at him before releasing a sigh. Laxus ran his fingers through his hair, once more, and then rested his palm atop of his man’s hand. “Makes sense. ’M sorry that I’m acting like a fucking idiot right now.”

“Didn’t I just tell you that it’s okay?”

“Guess… you only said that it’s ‘not stupid’.”

“Well, that’s something, too, isn’t it? I often tell you that you’re hopeless. Not this time.”

Laxus snorted at that and not so secretly loved the small, lop-sided grin that appeared on Freed’s face for a split-second before it subsided again. “So… Thank you for telling me.”

“Sorry for killin’ the mood.”

“I agree that the timing could have been a little better, but we’ll find a different time to catch up on this.” Freed paused and looked at their connected hands before looking back up. “If you still want to, that is.”

He couldn’t tell if there was a hint of true insecurity in his boyfriend’s voice this time, but Laxus refused to let it linger if it was. Of course he wanted this! He hadn’t lied about _that_. And now that they had talked about the elephant in the room, Laxus was sure that the next time would work out much better. “Fuck yea, I do!”

Before Freed could say something, Laxus had cupped his face and pressed his lips against his in a long kiss. His boyfriend melted into it immediately, all desire to talk gone for that moment. Instead Laxus felt a strong grip on his shoulders as he was pressed to the mattress again with Freed’s nude body against his. The kiss interrupted for only a second and they shared a quick look before diving back into the sensation and it was fucking amazing.

That was all it took for their bodies to get in the mood again and once again he was amazed just how much of an effect Freed had on him. This man really was breathtaking in so many ways and Laxus could just think again how lucky he was to have him.

And shit, did Freed’s erect cock feel good against his own.

He groaned into the kiss just before Freed pulled away and he could tell that it took them both so much willpower to not just grind into each other. But weirdly enough Laxus didn’t mind waiting this time, and shoving the sexual temptation into the background.

Freed was still close, the tip of his nose was barely brushing Laxus’ and he was smiling now. Laxus led his hands to his boyfriend’s waist and just lingered in the touch while they both took a moment to catch their breath from the intense kiss.

“You know, Laxus…”, he whispered, lightly bumping Laxus’ nose with his now. “In fact, I’m very happy knowing that you will share this… certain first experience with me. I’ll promise to make you feel incredible.”

He never doubted that Freed would… and now that this confession was out of the way, he had to admit that there was much more room for new excitement again, even if a string of nervousness was still apparent when he thought about it.

“If I could,” Freed continued in a slightly rasping whisper, “I would just experience all of my very firsts with you.”

“Yea… me, too.” Laxus barely registered himself responding and agreeing. All of his sexual and romantic firsts with Freed? Sounded like a dream.

“Then again…” And the smile on Freed’s face grew a little wider, more visible now and Laxus felt very tempted to kiss him again. “What importance does it really have? Every single new experience between us is _our own_ first. And that’s much more important than anything else, isn’t it?”

And Laxus agreed in silence this time, deciding that, yea… that was so much more important and so much better than anything else he could imagine.

Because this was _theirs_ and nobody could ever take this again from them.

**Author's Note:**

> I've just never seen or read anything like this before, at least not with Laxus, so I thought this would be nice. I think there are still many people who refuse to make Laxus vulnerable of any kind or emotional or, well, also ..... simply refuse to let this man bottom for ridiculous reasons lmao.
> 
> I'm here for such content, so I'm glad about feedback! Did this sound realistic? Did anything sound ooc in your opinion? Just lemme know, here or on tumblr (the chance that you catch me on my tumblr account is higher)!
> 
> I'm also... really, really not a fan of the 'clueless, soft virgin boi' Freed trope, it makes me personally cringe, but then again y'all know that there's a lot of Freed content out there that makes me cringe so skdwqdjekf OK BYE!


End file.
